Wedding vs. Marriage

This week we talked about some interesting insights as to the importance on a wedding.

Here are a few things that I learned:

1) Those who are of an older age sometimes struggle in marriages. They have been living a certain way for so long and tend to be set in their ways. Joining two people together who are both set in certain specific ways of living can cause a lot of problems.

2) The engagement itself sends a large message about the couple. Is it spontaneous- he just popped it on you, you were so surprised but it felt so right? This may suggest communication issues. It is such an important decision and yet it becomes an all in the moment (without discussion) kind of a thing. What about those extravagant public engagements http://www.wimp.com/lipdub/? What does that say about the couple? It seems as though the man has talked to A LOT of people about this decision...but how much has he talked to her? Is this going to be a public marriage or a private one? With such an important moment shared with so many people... how are they going to handle other precious marital moments?

There is beauty in simplicity here... in something meaningful for the couple, but not the world... in something planned and prepared for and prayed about.

3) The average wedding cost is around $21,000. With this cost... who can really afford to get married? It is no wonder people are co-habiting more and more. It is no wonder people dread the day when they get married or have extremely long engagements.

Where will we turn to get that money?
Typically, couples will have to do one of a few things: take out a loan, save up for a while, or have the parents pay. The question here is... what will that do to the rest of the marriage relationship? Taking out a loan will cause the couple to now have to worry about debt and be burdened with interest. Saving up for a while will deny the couple precious blessings through the marriage covenant... and something will ALWAYS come up. As for having parents pay, this may be the easiest, but also may be the worst of all. If parents pay for a wedding are you giving them a right in that marriage? They have contributed a lot of their time and resources to it. Would you feel any obligations to them?

Why do we feel such a draw towards having an expensive ONE DAY experience? Are we missing the point? There was a story told in class of two women who wanted to get married in a temple on one day. One because the outside was beautiful and would make for the perfect pictures and the other because it meant a lot to her to get married in the temple. She understood the real importance. On that blessed day, two things happened: there were some minor repairs being made on the outside of the temple and the second bride's dress would not be able to get to her in time for the wedding. The first bride was furious. She could not believe it.. her day was ruined. The other bride did not even give a second glance. She knew what was really important and was just grateful to have the opportunity to be married there.

We should try to step back from the focus on the frivolities of the wedding. Let's focus on what is really important.