Communication

This week in class we talked about strategies for effective communication.

14% of what we're saying is conveyed through words
35% of what we're saying is through tone
51% of what we're saying is through non-verbal communication

Interestingly enough, people are most likely to believe non-verbal communication rather than words or tone. When I learned this I had to ask myself, are there times when I am non-verbally communicating things that are the opposite of what I am saying with words? The first step to effectively communicating is to recognize that there might be some mis communications in what you are saying.

Recognizing that only 14% of what we're saying is conveyed through words has large implications for the effect of texting on our society. In class, many students said that texting was their least favorite way of communicating because you can never really tell what someone is thinking.

The next step is to be intentional about what you are saying and how it may be perceived and work hard to listen. In fact, we should really put more work into listening than we are in speaking.

On Thursday we discussed some principles based on councils. It was really interesting to me to learn this material because we discussed how the quorum of the 12 counsel with each other and how we can apply that to our families.


Interestingly enough, the Brethern have councils once per week. This is the structure of those councils:

-Set time and Place- typically Thursdays in the temple
How powerful it would be to have a meeting with those around us in the temple once a week where the Spirit could be unrestrained and we could take care of any issues before they ever arose.
-The Brethren show up early and spend time expressing love and gratitude to each other
This reassures the members of the group that what is about to be said is out of love for that person and eliminates all fear or question of inadequacy or personal attack.
-The meeting opens with a prayer
The brethren invite the Spirit to be with then and pray to speak with love and do what the Lord would have them do.
-They have an agenda of topics to discuss and do so one at a time
This is a powerful idea because it suggests that there has been time and thought put into each of the topics beforehand. Each of the brethren received a copy of the agenda previously and had time to study it out in their minds and hearts. Interestingly enough, when they respond there is no interruption and the Brethren each speak what they believe the Lord wants, not their own opinion.
-They come to a consensus before they ever close an issue
This means that every person feels at peace with the decision and they support it as a unified whole. They leave the topic knowing that everyone has said all that each person needed to express on behalf of the Lord and his will.
-They close with a prayer
In this prayer, they give gratitude to the Lord for inspiration and for helping them to come to a consensus. They ask if there is something more that they may know to bring it to the next meeting. They also express their love for one another one more time.
-They finish the meeting with refreshments
Yes, they do eat refreshments in the temple. Apparently, it is some form of dessert...either chocolate or pie. What a great way to bond and feel the spirit of unity and friendship. 


How different would our family councils be if we counseled together in such a way? Would hard topics go over smoothly? Would there be a much more effective communication between members?