Social Class and Family

Tuesday

We learned a lot today.

1- We had an assignment to come to class today having created a family genogram. I found mine very interesting. I learned that it is common in my family for the oldest daughter to attach strongly with her mother. I also learned from my husband's genogram that typically sisters-in-law do not get along up his family tree and that the middle child is usually the more rebellious member of the family. Now knowing that, it makes me very interested to see if my children will be that way. 

2- In class, our teacher posed the question "Does social class influence the family's capacity to meet its needs and responsibilities?" I felt like this blog would be a good place for me to pose my answer for this question. In my notes, I put... "I think definitely yes. Tammy  was not being as effective of a mother as she could have been living the way they did. She even said she wished that she could stay home and teach her boys. She could see that they were lacking in social and emotional aspects because of her choices. If she would've been  upper/middle class she could have afforded to teach and be a better mother to them. Her purpose as a woman and mother was to nurture and she was not fulfilling that purpose." 

I think it is very naiive and unfortunately prevalent in our church to think "money doesn't matter." It does. If you were poor and had to take up a job you are not going to be as effective of a parent as a mother who is better off financially because she can devote more of her time and efforts to her children. I know that money is not the sole indicator of social class, but it is a big part. I heard a quote in one of my classes "pray as if everything depended on God, but work as if everything depended on you." I think this directly applies and could be said "have faith as if everything depended on God, but prepare financially as if everything depended on you."  Obviously a mother who is a full-time student who needs to be focused on her studies and has to work full-time CANNOT dedicate as much time to her child/ parent them as they are needed as someone who has a higher social class and does not have to worry about money. 

We have the responsibility as parents "to provide for the necessities of life" (The Family: Proclamation to the World). Plain and simple, those in higher social classes are better able to meet that need than are those in a lower social class.

3- Another question that was asked was like "what would I want my system to be like?" 

I think that my system would incorporate aspects from all other systems, namely: an education like those in higher social class, financial means like that of a higher social class, work ethic like those of a lower social class, and humility like those of a lower social class. I have seen people with families that are like this. It is achievable. 

Thursday

We talked today about two articles, primarily "A Critique on the Research of Same-Sex Parenting" and "The Costs of Getting Ahead: Mexican Family System Changes and Immigration."

In the first article, we learned that many of the statistical information currently out on the market about Same-Sex Parenting is inaccurate, for the following reasons:

1- There was a sampling bias in most studies- choosing only those who were affiliated with a certain magazine, it was not a representative sample.

2- There were no control groups

3- There was only one study that measured the longitudinal effects

4- The samples were small, only a few families

5- They assumed "children raised in homosexual households has no effect on that child" because they had no real results. No results does not equate to "no effect."

In the "Costs of Getting Ahead," we learned about the effect on families who are separated in illegal immigration. It really hit me hard that this has such an effect on families because my family was separated for similar purposes. 

My dad moved to Alaska to work with the economy crash in '08 and my mom and my sisters remained in the lower 48 for about 4 months. We came up and I could tell that my dad had really had a hard time. It was lonely, I'm sure. Sadly, we didn't have much time to restructure. My mom and I moved back down to the lower 48 so I could finish high school (senior year) and she could finish her college degree that would not transfer (senior year). Being separated was really hard on my young sisters who were only 8 & 13 at the time. My dad had to transition into "mommy role" for a time and that was difficult while he was the sole provider. As for our side, my mom and I became very close and really learned to lean on each other. Needless to say, it was very difficult for our family. Once I moved away to college and my mom was back home, my family eventually re-structured. I can tell, however, that it has caused a significant negative change in our family. My youngest sister now has pretty severe attachment issues being separated from my mom for a year. The middle child, my younger sister, has now transitioned into more of an "adult" or "hero" role because the situation required it. My dad is very lost and confused and I can tell my mother sometimes feels very disconnected and feels guilty for the past time gone. 

Great lessons. Any thoughts?