Divorce and Remarriage

I have learned a lot about Divorce and Remarriage this past week. I have not personally experienced a divorce, but I have a lot of friends and some family who have. Divorce is devastating. So it is with a Spirit of love that I write this.

Statistically, women and men who are religious (just religion in general) are less likely to get a divorce. Why?
-Typically, in religion, you feel accountable to someone else for the choices you make and therefore feel accountable for your actions in marriage. Feeling accountable makes you more likely to stick to something and work harder at it.
-For those who marry in religion, the bond becomes more of a covenant rather than a contract.
-Those in religion tend to believe more in forgiveness and Christlike love and employ that principle in their marriage.
-In religion, marriage is more of a family affair rather than my needs vs. your needs. This is evidenced in the fact that religious people tend to make more family-oriented decisions (ex. less likely for abortion, more likely advocates for women staying in the home, etc.)

Other statistics:
-People in high socioeconomic status have a lower rate of divorce than people from a low SES. I believe that since having financial issues is such a big stressor in marriage, removing one of those burdens helps ease the tension in a marriage.
-Divorce rates have been dropping since the 70's.
     *There was a drastic increase in 50's after the "No- Fault" Divorce was created. Statistics started dropping in the 70's because those children watched what their parents went through in divorce and what they grew up in and did not like it.
-U.S. has the highest divorce rates. I believe this is because of our sense, as Americans, of confidence and pride in ourselves. People marry in situations think, "well I am different" or "this time will be different." 

Thoughts about divorce:
Isn't it interesting that there isn't one contract in the world that you can sign your name to and then just quit whenever you felt like. Imagine if you had a rental contract and then just determined one day that you did not want to pay it... or imagine you contracted a job out to another company and they agreed but one day thought it was too hard and so they did not fulfill their contract. Yet, for marriage, this really is how it works.

The problem with marriage is that it was always meant to be a "covenant" institution. It was never intended to be purely a contract. Think back to the history of the world... God performed the first marriage. Humans did not think up the institution. I wonder how different marriage would be if people truly understood it is an institution established by God and that you will be accountable TO HIM for your actions within.

Challenges for Children:
-For children in divorced and remarried families there are many challenges. First, they may be getting mixed messages.
-When parents remarry, it will inevitably be difficult. The children feel attached to their biological parents.
-Average dad (in a divorce) will live 400 miles from his child. Children who are girls will want more attention from males and tend to be more promiscuous and children who are boys tend to be more rebellious.
-Children may feel that they have to "choose sides" with parents. They may feel like they have to ask themselves... "Who am I going to like more?"
-These children will have trouble because, with any divorce, there is trouble with a normative healthy attachment.

And although I hate country, there is hope for divorced/remarried families. Some people describe it as "finally finding my family." Our teacher showed this video in class, and I believe very strongly that this can be the case.